It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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