hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
