3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
