Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he had hair everywhere except his balls
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
