I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
