Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
