I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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