you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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