Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's blow job season.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
