would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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