Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize