my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
