I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
