So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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