Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
