good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
