is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
