i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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