I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
