Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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