and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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