So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
