ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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