Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize