ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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