Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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