I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
