Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you would pick up someone in the library
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
