It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
