I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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