I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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