you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
