it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
