Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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