can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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