You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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