shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
