I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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