I just made out with a guy for $7.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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