foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
