That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
