Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
