You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
