It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
either way he was missing a nipple.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
