she was so not down for the gang bang
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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