a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize