He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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