OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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