shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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