whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
