my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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