# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
