Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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