He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
