I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it's great music for shaving your balls
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
