Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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