I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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