I didn't shave. On purpose
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
