This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Randomize
