how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
